15th December 2009

I tried ‘ice tea’ for the first time today, the one with the lemon added into it. It surprised me because I actually liked it. I’ve never been quite sure if I like tea or not, never mind ice tea! But I guess now I can add that onto the list of drinks I like. I have smelt the peach ice tea before and I fell in love with that smell, which has to be one of my favourite smells if I may say so. It was more the peach part of it that I liked, I didn’t dare taste it though, and I didn’t want it to taste bad otherwise I might go off the smell. I’ve never thought about smells so much, weird.

So today I skipped the whole day of college, something I’ve never done before. I got onto my usual bus with Elena and Billy, we all sat in the same seats and talked about yesterday’s events. It was just before we got off that Billy grabbed my hand and asked me to go with him. So I said goodbye to Elena and followed Billy, I had no idea where we were going or what we were going to talk about. He must have been walking a good ten metres in front of me; it was pretty hard keeping up with him. He finally stopped next to rouge coloured car and placed his hand on top of it. I looked at his puzzled, as I know he can’t drive. He looked straight into my eyes and asked to me to get a drive away.

Still looking puzzled I asked him why.
He replied, “My dad disapproves of my sexuality, I told him everything. Every single thing and he disapproved. What kind of father does that to their own son?”
Tears rolled down his face so I pulled him into me and hugged him. It was more of a cuddle in the end, since it lasted about three minutes. He was just crying on my shoulder, like in the movies. I’ve never felt so close to him in all my life. I was scared to break the silence but I knew that I had to.
“So what do you want to do with the car?”
He broke off the hug and answered.
“We need to go, I can’t trust anyone else in the world more than you. I need you to come with me, please”.
His eyes grew so big when he was asking me this; there was no way in hell I could say no to him. Not after everything we have been through together.
“Where do you want to go?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, I just want to go anywhere apart from here, I need to get out of Newcastle. I need to see the world in all if it’s beauty”.
“Don’t you think it’s a little early to go and see the world? I mean we have exams coming up and you can’t just quit everything!”

I’ll tell you something; Billy is one of the most confusing people I’ve ever met. I love him, I love him so much, but I could never handle all of his emotion. He’s too spontaneous and he gets upset over the littlest things. I’m not saying that his dad hating him is a little thing; just he always over exaggerates everything.

After about 20 minutes of reasoning with him, he walked away from the car with me. Hand in hand. I wish I knew what was going on inside his head; I wonder how he really feels about me. We walked into our local pub called ‘The Half Moon’, and we sat down at a table for two. He went up to the bar and ordered is both a double Jack and coke; he’s 18 so he obviously has to order them. He never asks me for money though, and every time I try and give him some he gives me it back. But when he gives me it back, he does it in such weird ways, either slipping it into my bag when im not looking or into one of my pockets. I know he does this just to annoy me, I really wish he would take the money off me.

After we finished our drinks he pulled out a silver container with a sticker of the British flag on top of it. I asked him what it was but he didn’t answer. He opened it and there was a bag full of weed placed underneath some tobacco.
“Since when did you smoke?” I asked him.
“Oh, since I found this in my brothers drawer last week, I tried it out and I’ve been hooked ever since”.
“You’re stupid,” I proclaimed.

I’ve never seen him smoke ever! Personally I hate smoking, it’s disgusting and it kills so many people, but I’ve always wanted to try some weed. I’m such a hypocrite, I really am.
“Well at least don’t roll it up in here,” I told him.
We stood up and walked towards the exit. He does that a lot. He just leaves or crosses the road without telling anyone, he’s such a child. I picked up our bags and went after him.
“Will you please stop walking off without telling me?” I asked.
He was too busy lighting the spliff to reply to me, brilliant. I sat down on the edge of the curb leading into the back alley and Billy joined me. He blew out the smoke into my face and passed it over to me, I wasn’t too sure what to do right about now.
He told me just to place it on the tip of my lips, close my mouth and just breathe in. Of course I failed, I breathed in through my nose, this made Billy laugh. He placed his fingers on my nose and pinched it so I couldn’t do the same mistake again. I inhaled again; I pulled the spliff away from my mouth and exhaled. I think that it’s safe to say that it went well! I officially smoked weed today! It’s not really that exciting, but at least now I can safely safe that I’ve tried it.

I guess that’s all that really happened today, we smoked a little more and had a few laughs. Time just flew by, seven whole hours gone, just like that. I walked him home at about 8:30pm and when I said goodbye he kissed me on the cheek. Honestly, if he doesn’t come out and tell me that he likes me then I might just have to confront him myself. I have no idea where I will get the confidence from, but ill find it somewhere.

James.